How To Make New Friends: Four Important Things To Consider

How To Make New Friends: Four Important Things To Consider

Good friendship

It’s great having you around again. In this article, we shall be discussing the four important factors to consider while choosing your friends. 

We will also look at the steps you must take while looking for good friendship. But before that, let’s briefly discuss what friendship is all. 

What Is Friendship 

Friendship is a form of relationship existing between two or more good friends. 

Who Is A Friend 

A friend is someone you love, trust and always want to be with at all times. 

A friend is someone whom you have no problem sharing your life issues and secrets with because you believe your secrets are safe with him. 

He is that person you are so sure won’t do anything to harm you. 

A good friend in life is someone who will go the extra mile towards ensuring your happiness even if it might affect his schedule. 

Four Factors To Consider When Choosing A Good Friend 

1. Loyalty/ Trustworthy: Friendship is all about trust and loyalty. Someone with fidelity issues shouldn’t be your friend because he might betray your trust in the future. 

Take your time to examine the person you intend to make as a friend and see if he is trustworthy and straightforward. 

Is he someone you can trust? What about his actions and activities? Who are his friends? 

You must answer these questions sincerely before developing any interest in such a person. 

How To Know If Someone is Trustworthy 

  • He hardly shares other people’s secrets. 
  • He is open-minded as he won’t conceal important information from you.
  • He always tells the truth regardless of the outcome.
  • He is passionate about other’s welfare 
  • He has so much trust in people. 

2. Reliability: Go for someone you can rely on. Go for a very dependable person who won’t disappoint when you need him most.

You might be thinking loyalty and reliability are the same but that isn’t the case. 

Reliability is when someone is consistent in all his doings. A Reliable friend will always through for you in most cases or situations.

Loyalty, on the other hand, is when your friend supports and has faith in you but sometimes disappoints in his duties as a friend. 

Though he is willing to help, he won’t show up due to one reason or the other. Another word for loyalty is Fidelity. 

How To Know If Someone Is Reliable 

  • He is consistent in his projects, mission, course work, or other endeavours. 
  • He values time and keeps his promise at all time. 
  • He informs you of any unfavourable changes ahead of time so you can reach your plans 
  • He’s always eager to make things work out. 

3. Compatibility: Compatibility is another crucial factor to consider when choosing your friends. 

Do your background check and examine if the person’s attributes match yours. 

Again, you must answer some questions before making him your close pal. 

Is he someone you can benefit from his lifestyle and experience?  Do you like his manners? He is not worth being your friend if the answers are negative. 

Meanwhile, you must examine his friendliness and approachability to be sure he is open to corrections and rebuke. 

How To Know If Someone Is Compatible With You 

  • Interaction comes naturally, effortlessly, and seamlessly
  • You would like his characters.
  • He will feel the urge to be a part of their lives after monitoring his lifestyle for a while.
  • He asks many questions about you as they are eager to learn more about you
  • You feel comfortable being around him 

4. Productivity and Positivity: Here is another significant factor to consider before becoming his close friend. 

Endeavour to confirm his productivity level before making him your friend. Find out if he’s a hard-working type or one who procrastinates. 

I’m afraid you need to look elsewhere for good friendship if he is lazy unless you can inspire a behavioural change.

What about his mindset— does he believe everything is possible? Is he the type that gives up even without trying at all?

You must answer with all sincerity to know if he deserves your friendship. 

Five Benefits Of Good Friends 

Having discussed the factors to consider before making someone your friend, let’s see the benefits of friendship and why you should have one or more.  

1. They Prevent Loneliness: Friendship prevents loneliness to a certain degree and level because friends will keep you busy and engaged. 

You can easily visit your friends when lonely and bored; they will create lively and exciting moments.  

2. Friends Build Confidence When Needed:  Friends aren’t just for companionship or cheap and unproductive discussions. 

They help you build confidence in yourself. Good friends will encourage you to develop strong belief in your abilities and skills. 

3. A Good Friendship Inspires Positive Behavioural Change: Another benefit of friendship is that it inspires laudable behavioural changes.

You would be challenged to emulate your friend’s lifestyle and attitude,  especially if they are good and laudable.

Friendship is a relationship that influences the habits and behaviours of the people involved. 

This explains why you must go for people with impressive attributes while looking for new friends. 

4. Friends Promote Good Health: Good friends are very much concerned about their health. They advise themselves to eat healthy foods and take proper care of their bodies. 

Likewise, they cheer themselves up when necessary so they won’t be a victim of depression that could lead to  health challenges in long run. 

5. Friends Offer Assistance and Support: Unflinching support is one of the good things to expect from a healthy and working friendship. 

Your friends should be willing to  help and support you when things aren’t working. 

Friends should do everything humanly possible to help both parties succeed in all ramifications.  

How To Be A Good Friend

Meanwhile, friendship isn’t a one-sided affair. You must be good to make the friendship work effectively. 

So, let’s see the qualities you must possess as a good friend. 

1. Be a good listener: Here is the first quality of a good friend. You must give your friends listening ears. 

Seek their opinions on certain issues; listen and pay attention during conversations. 

2. Make your friends feel good: Everyone loves to feel good and happy. We love receiving accolades from  the people we love and cherish. 

Therefore, you should learn to appreciate your friends and make them feel special. 

Don’t wait for birthdays, new year celebrations or wedding anniversaries before praising them. 

Celebrate your friends and make them feel special for being your close associates. This will make your friendship more effective. 

3. Support your friends: As mentioned earlier, support and assistance are one of things to expect and enjoy in friendship. 

However, assistance and support should come from both parties. Supporting your friends is one of the things that makes you a good friend.

4. Give them your time and attention: You must spend quality time with your friends if the relationship must produce great results. 

As much as you might be busy with work and family, endeavour to visit your friends regularly (or periodically at least). 

5. Maintain healthy boundaries: It’s one thing to be closer to your friends, but it’s another thing to respect their privacy.

As much as I believe in forging a close relationship with friends, learn to maintain respectful boundaries 

Four Effective Steps To Making New Friends 

I understand that nature has a way of giving us new friends, but it always takes time. 

Sometimes, nature gives us friends that aren’t worth it. 

This is why you should go out and make new friends that deserve your attention, love and care. 

However, you can’t get quality friends at a spot (I know it seldom if you’re lucky). 

There are steps to making new friends. They are discussed extensively below:

1. Observe and study the person: This is the first step to making a new friend. 

Observe the person, and confirm at least 40% of his behaviour. 

Proceed to the next step if you think he’s compatible with you. Find someone else if he doesn’t meet the standard.

The observation period shouldn’t exceed two weeks. 

2. Get close to him: Now that you know he has what you want, next step involves getting closer to him. 

First, make him a “Hi-bye” friend before targeting better intimacy. 

A Hi-bye friend is someone who doesn’t have anything to do with you apart from friendly greetings. 

This stage shouldn’t exceed a week or two. 

3. Make advances: Tell him your desire to be his friend. 

The person already knows you at this stage; therefore, approaching him shouldn’t be a problem. 

His response would determine the next line of action, although, I’m sure no one would want to miss the opportunity of being with a great person like you. 

4. Develop more intimacy: Gist with him, discuss education, lifestyle, business, and more. 

The time spent together will undoubtedly make the friendship stronger as time goes on. 

You will grow from “Hi-bye” friends to regular friends who talk more often. 

You will eventually become the best of friends who are more like siblings with time. 


That’s it about the steps to making new, quality compatible friends who will stand the test of time. 

Hope you benefitted one or two things from this post? If yes, don’t hesitate to share it with your followers on Twitter, Facebook and other social media platforms. Thanks.

Ibukun Italoye

Ibukun Italoye is a writer with over two years of experience writing in various niches, including football, lifestyle, screenwriting, and stories. He is a Christian, a brother and a friend who loves helping others reach their full potential.

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